My Last Day of 26

I sit here breathing in deeply of the quiet after the 53 minutes of crying that it took Jaxon to fall asleep for his morning nap. I can't really complain, because he slept 9 hours+2 hours last night! (HALLELUJAH, PRAISE JESUSSSS!) 

But I don't know how long the quiet will last, so I should move on. 

I've been thinking a lot lately about turning 27. If you've read any of this blog, you'll know that 26 has been a pretty crazy year for me. It has held a lot of change, a lot of struggle, and a lot of joy. It has been a season I don't care to repeat. But it has changed me, and I am grateful. I know Jesus loves me more than ever. 

Tomorrow I turn 27. I'm excited to have a 7 in my number again. No, really. I LOVED being 17. It was so much fun. Seventeen and insane. (Please somebody get the Fahrenheit 451 reference!) It's been 10 long years since I've had a 7 in my number, and I'm ready for it. 

I want to have fun this year. 

I want to make memories with my amazing little family. 

I want to be brave and do things I didn't think I could ever do. 

I want to sleep through the night :) (He just woke up....after only napping 30 minutes. Yay. Haha)

I want to find joy even in the mundane and monotonous parts of life.  

I want to be silly. 

I want to go on adventures. 

I want to save up my pennies and buy a new camera body (the Canon 7D) so I can start taking real pictures again. 

I want to photograph weddings again. 

I want to photograph families again. 

I want to photograph babies and kids again. 

I want to read new books. 

I want to dance with my man. 

I want to play with my boy. 

I want to sing. 

I want to laugh.  

I want to meet new friends. 

I want to be there for old friends. 

I want to make memories with our families. 

I want to paint.

I want to create. 

All those things would be fantastic. 

But mostly I want to be OPEN. 

I want my heart and my mind and my every single day to be open to whatever God wants to give. 

I want to be thankful every day for what He gives, knowing that He gives it out of perfect love. 

Love that He demonstrated in a deeply tangible way, when He sent His only son to die in my place, and rise again to conquer death and sin. Forever. Love that calls me to His arms just as I am. Love that fills me and covers me and changes me. Love that tells me I don't have to DO anything to be accepted. Because Jesus did everything. 

I want that gospel to grow and take root in my heart and change the way I live and love and hear and speak. 

I want to give myself grace to fail, knowing my glorious Savior NEVER fails, and His love will never change based on anything I do or don't do. 

I want to give others that grace too. 

I want to judge others less. 

I want to love deeply. 

I want to give generously. 

I want to be deeply content with whatever God provides for us. 

I want to live a life of hospitality, welcoming others as God has welcomed me. 

So if you want to know how to pray for me, that's how. Because those are things I can't work really hard to make happen. They are fruits of God's Spirit in my heart and life. They are gifts. 

Left to myself, most days I just want to sit on the couch, be a lazy bum, watch tv, have people bring me things, sleep for hours and hours and hours and only do easy things. I thank God that He has not left me to myself, and I look forward in hope to what He will do in this next year. 

Here's to the end of 26, with all that it held, and to the beginning of 27, with whatever it holds! 

Cheers!